Because I Can

   Do you ever feel like you have no idea what is going on in your life and are pretty sure nothing will ever be 100% peachy?  No?  Well that makes three of us then.  Well technically four, except Justine is much too centered to feel that way for more than a millisecond (she didn’t tell me that, but it’s basically accepted as scientific fact.)  So three of us- myself, Kurt, and Jordan, plus Justine, and that was the topic of conversation in our living room two nights ago. 

      Whether it’s roused by some event, hits out of the blue, or is more like a funk that can’t be cured no matter how many bowls of cappuccino chip ice cream have been consumed, this feeling was making us three ask a lot of questions.  (One being, why are we not studying for the test we had in less than 14 hours.)  We questioned everything from choices made, to future plans, to if people even like us as humans or not.  Bottom line: we decided a little change was necessary. 

      I walked away from our talk feeling much better knowing I wasn’t the only one feeling that way.  And when I opened my doodle book in my econ class the next morning I happened across a quote that just clicked, “If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough.”  I suddenly remembered something that I seem to have to rediscover every time that feeling of “my life is so insignificant” rolls around: if I am scared, then I am doing it right.  If I wasn’t scared for what is next for me, then I am just wasting away in mediocrity.  And while I’m relatively sure I am just your average person, mediocre is not something I am striving for.  

     With that fear of “will I really achieve what I want to in life,” comes something that makes it worthwhile: not knowing what will happen next in my life means anything, anything can.   I am going to continue to dream bigger than feels safe.  Each of us have been given the option to do so, and maybe it’s naïve, but I only need one reason to keep striving for the life I imagine: Because I Can.